Mystery sister

I'm the eldest child of three -- but I used to be the oldest of four. My younger sister (I still have one left) died when she was in her early twenties. This ''mystery sister'' doesn't come up much -- but when it does, I'm sometimes unsure how to handle it.

I mention this because over the weekend, my daughter (4 y.o.) and I were out buying a bracelet for my wife, for Mother's Day. In the glass case at the cash register counter was a tray of body jewelry, including some tongue barbells. My daughter asked what they were.

I told her that just like Mommy has holes in her ears so she can wear earrings, some people poke holes in their tongue so they can wear these things, as decoration. (I'm pretty sure I also mentioned that it hurts, and that it makes you talk funny for a few months: don't want her running home and trying to poke a hole in her tongue!!!)

Then I mentioned that my sister had one of them. I didn't specify that it was a never-mentioned sister -- and she didn't ask -- so she probably just assumed it was Aunt K.

So far I haven't mentioned the Mystery Sister to my daughter, because I want to wait 'til she's a bit older before we have the whole ''death'' discussion. Plus, she's only recently understood the concept of aunts and uncles being the sisters and brothers of Mommy and Daddy. And I'm too superstitious to expand on that point.

Anyhow, kinda weird: my kid doesn't know that she has a permanently un-met aunt. Kind of a Cool Aunt, I suppose -- tongue stud and flight jacket and Goth boots and all that. All of which I have in the back right corner of my closet, just waiting.


--GG