Drifting

Hm.

 

For the longest time, I'd count down the days until the weekend, so that I could embark on whatever project I was in the middle of.

However, for the last month -- or two? -- I've been... drifting.  I spent most of the weekend doing inconsequential things, including watching a lot of YouTube videos:  some informative (mostly about filmmaking techniques) -- but a lot of them just time-wasting, really.

Part of the problem is that I'm inherently nocturnal:  for whatever reason, my default mode is to not get started until late afternoon -- and then I only have a little bit of time before sundown.  And for indoor work, I really don't get revved up until just before (or, just after) dinner.  And then my productivity gets truncated by the need to go to bed for the night -- or, I go with my momentum, stay up foolishly late -- and then pay for it the next morning.

However, today I had a breakthrough:  in order to be more "mindful", I need to occasionally stop and ask myself "What is the thing I could be doing right now that will make the the most happy?"  It might be making a sandwich, of course -- but it's more likely to be something like "making something out of wood", or "playing the guitar", or "listening to the record".  It might even be "doing the laundry" -- not because it's fun -- but because if I do it, I'll stop feeling bad about not doing it.

But whatever my answer to myself, it will be something that I do with intention and purpose -- rather than "drifting" like I have been.

There's reasons for my drifting. But that's a discussion for another day -- and one which I'm unlikely to post online.  ;)

--GG